The journey has begun... again. Why does this time feel right?
Stay tuned and keep coming back as I will be posting updates here...
RECIPE & EXERCISE HACKS CLICK HERE >>
JULY 3, 2018 -- (advanced entry entered on June 29th because I'm getting old and I forget shit. When you write, you gotta write when the inspiration hits or it's lost forever - LOL) Prior to this week's weigh in, I had decided that I would detox from the sugar, drink a ton of water, eat lots of veggies. AND I vowed to figure out a few recipe hacks so I could make a couple things I tried in Idaho, but more WW friendly versions. Click above on "Recipe & Exercise Hacks to see my latest hacks.
While I thought a detox was in order, I went to my WW meeting and bought the 2pt Vanilla smoothie. I will do one smoothie a day. Nothing against these, but MAN they are sweet, and MAN they gave me the worst gas for three days. This is the only item that I had never tried before so I concluded that they are the causes of the gas. I mean enough gas to keep a blimp in the air for a week. Anyone else?
BUT, I had my first Non-Scale Victory (NSV) last week. I was in the shower and was shaving. I looked down, and for the first time in a long time, I could see my HOOHOO. You know the vulva-ish area with a patch of hair. Yes, I have hair, I'm not Brazilian. I was stoked to see it without bending over and cutting off oxygen supply, turning blue and gasping for air. HOWEVER, I did gasp when I saw some gray hairs THERE! WTF, when did that happen? Why didn't my husband tell me? Oh Lawd~, oh well. The carpet don't match the drapes anymore. I innocently posted this NSV in my WW over 50 group ( I know, I'm only 49, but they let me join), and I didn't expect to get so much response. Almost 500 likes, about my hoohoo. LOL. Anyway, oh just wait. I am unfiltered and have so many more NSV to look forward to.
JUNE 26, 2018 -- I wasn't sure what the scale would say today, but I prepared myself. I've never been so glad to be in my neck of the woods. Back to my own kitchen and fridge.
The past week, my eating was out of control. Granted, there was sadness, stress, grieving, and just being out of my own comfort zone for a whole week was a true test. Surrounded by comfort food to the "nth" degree. Food I hadn't had before, food that smelled delicious, food that tasted delicious, food that was sweet and fully laden with butter, mayo, sugar, you name it. AND I had diarrhea a few days, it seems like I just ate and pooped. My gut was tore up. The day before we headed back to California, I had two HUGE cinnamon rolls. AND food that we do not acknowledge has no points. Ignorance is BLISS...
THE SCALE WAS DOWN .4 lbs. OK, I'll take it. Our garden went nuts while we were gone. HUGE cucumbers, tons of peas and green beans. Shit ton of tomatoes, still green, but will be red soon. OH how I love fresh veggies. So, this week is all about water, veggies and sugar detox.
I GOT THIS!
JUNE 18, 2018 -- Today, I attended a WW meeting while I was out of state. It was one day earlier than my regular meeting, and I was up 1.6 lbs from the previous week. I was a tad bummed. I mean, I have consistently lost 2 lbs/week so I was beating myself up a bit, BUT I know exactly why. AND I think knowing WHY there could be a gain, may actually calm the mind better than thinking that you did everything right and cannot explain a gain. SOOOOO, WHY... My father in law passed away from a battle with Pancreatic Cancer last Wednesday June, 13th. Saturday, the 15th, we loaded up the car for the 10 hour drive to southern Idaho. I planned for the drive, but I ended up caving and had eaten all my points for the day four hours in to the drive. AND it was all CRAPPOLA! So, there was a stop at a Taco Bell and I had one crunchy taco. HELL, three crunchy tacos would have been better than all the crap I had in the car. Can I just say that those fucking fruit snacks are the devil? I love anything gummy and a box of those tiny packs could easily derail my efforts. When we pulled into town about 630PM I was starving for some real food. AND let me tell you, there was some REAL comfort food for the next 7 days. After this gain, I decided that I would spend the rest of the week being mindful. I mean, I did have lots of healthy options to choose from, so wish me luck.
JUNE 12, 2018 -- It's weigh in day. I was reading a comment on the WW connect forum last night about how it kinda sucks to go to weigh in time when you haven't pooped yet. OMG, that is just so fricken true. For some reason I had a super upset intestines last night and was on the throne. Thought to myself, "well this certainly can't hurt weigh-in tomorrow right"? I mean, there was one major bone I had to pick through this week. I house sat for my mom and when I got there, these chocolate cupcakes. BASTARDS! These are the devils that cause "Bat Wings".
I left the cupcakes alone. I'll be honest, I did eat around them. I had some ice cream and maybe one pot cookie, but I counted every damn point. YOU BET I DID!
AND they probably tasted like doggie doo anyway right?
I am soooo proud of myself because cakes and donuts are pretty much my kryptonite.
SO, to back track a tad because I didn't blog last week. SO On last week's weigh in, I was .4 from the 15 lb mark. I am not OCD or obsessive really, but this really bothered me. I wondered what I could have done to make that .4 happen. Maybe a bigger poop? Maybe drink more water? Maybe not wear a bra? Oh wait, I didn't wear a bra. OK, so maybe I could have shaved or gotten a haircut. I mean really, .4. I decided that I would make that .4 lbs my bitch.
OH AND I DID. Down another 2.8 for a total of 17.4lbs. YAY me. Let's celebrate with some cupcakes. LOL Just kidding. BUT I made those .4 lbs sorry they ever existed.
I'm so close to 20 lbs and I haven't really noticed any difference in my clothes. What I have noticed is that my fatty layer under my face is shrinking and therefore my wrinkles are becoming more pronounced. Thank goodness I have good skincare because I will be nipping this in the bud with my AMP MD roller. It's a special tool that has laser cut needles to keep my skin feeling firm, smooth, and kick those fine lines to the curb. I did some research on my saggy neck skin and how I can continue to improve it HERE to find out how I get my best skin at 49 years old... I did notice when I was getting out of the pool yesterday (on the side ladder), that my gut wasn't pushing my boobs into my face. So that is cool non-scale victory aka NSV, and I'll take it. AND I will swim those bat arms away too.
MAY 29, 2018 -- I'm not gonna lie, I missed my meeting and weigh in this morning. WHY? I am one of the first people to encourage others to go to the meeting, not to skip it. We had some friends over Monday to BBQ and swim and I kept track of everything that I ate. BUT I made some choices that swirled in my stomach and kept me up all night with cramps. I had alcohol, chips, and cake... and these things DID NOT agree with me. I woke up bloated and feeling like I had a food hangover. Tuesday morning is usually my day to hit the grocery store and stock up on fresh veggies, then hit my WW meeting next door and get weighed. Shit happens and it happened to me yesterday. I'll give myself a pass, this one time... But I am still completely on track and looking forward to next Tuesday.
MAY 22, 2018 - Down a total of 12.5 lbs. I'm seeing steady progress and I'm feeling good, really. My mind is more positive. I'm not at a point where I've received a compliment from someone yet. But, I do feel better in my skin "skinpowerment" is the name of my game right? I've been using my skincare faithfully again too because I want to wake up with soft glowing skin to go along with my soft glowing personality. LOL.
This time around something else is different. I do share on social networking because I want people to see my progress and I WANT to be a success story...this time... I know that sounds bad, but I have wanted to be a weight loss success story. There, I said it. Seeing all of the posts on WW Connect are truly grounding and inspiring and I think WW did something great by opening up this community app. Not only do we get support at our meetings, we get support online.
Something else I'm doing is removing the negative chatter in my brain and my social network. SO, I am changing my language and self talk and changing who I choose to socialize with as well because their language and talk affects me too. I am very proud for doing this.
I created a GOALS worksheet for my female veterans group. and shared it with one of my WW
friends. She liked it so I sent it to her. If you would like a copy of it, just email me HERE.
MAY 15, 2018 -- Weigh in success, down a total of 10 lbs since I started on 4/17. AND a new fancy 10lb charm to go with my 5 lb charm. I don't like carrying a keychain, so I will need to figure out how to celebrate these gems. I'm not going to lie, but it HAS been easy this time. I feel like my brain is in the game. My gut was in a rut... I mean, I learned how to count WW points for the first time about 20 years ago (the first time I did WW). I lost 50 lbs that time and kept it off for a very long time. UNTIL I met my husband and we fully enjoyed lounging by the pool with beers and snacks quite a bit. THEN when I started working for a company, and over the ten years there, gained about 5-10 lbs per year.
When I would tell people that I felt I was about 100 lbs overweight, that comment would be met with "NO, that isn't possible, you don't have 100 lbs to lose". UM no, I have about 150 lbs to get to my driver's license weight honestly, but who's counting right? 100 POUNDS!!!!!! When I admitted that number to myself, it was embarrassing, shocking, and down right humiliating.
I'm not ready to talk about my "number" yet. It is still embarrassing, but I will share my lbs lost and I DID take before pictures, which I will proudly share when I hit a milestone where I really notice the difference, and FOR SURE when I get to my current goal of 100 lbs gone. The only people that REALLY know are my WW Connect community because they truly understand. I have had an eating disorder for decades and control over food, overeating, and binge eating has always been present in some way, shape, or form. I have never expected anyone to understand this, but it helps to be part of a community who does.
Something happened last week. I was messaged by a "friend" who said that she was 35 years sober, and that my posts about alcohol bothered her and she didn't know if she should "unfriend" me or what. I rarely, if ever post about drinking, but I was having fun measuring out my wine because I can drink occasionally without a problem, so I really thought about her message.
My response was simply that I have an eating disorder, but I cannot control people posting pictures of food or videos of delicious recipes, nor can I control going anywhere with food because it is everywhere. I need to adapt to my environment and told her that she could unfriend me if she wanted and I would understand.
Eating is an everyday struggle with me, and I believe that because food isn't considered a drug or regulated by ATF that it isn't a problem or addictive. Only those who have been there, understand. Period.
SO, I said it has been easy. That does not mean I haven't struggled with making good choices or bad ones for that matter. When you have been eating somewhat "clean" for a few weeks and then decide to eat nacho fries, that sends your bowels through quite the explosion, like a bad hangover. UGH. Will I do that again? Probably, because I can eat whatever I want, but will I do 17 points of cheesiness, no prob only 8 points. I guess that is why they are called "smart points" as you have to be smart and choose wisely for your gut and for your glory.
So about two weeks into my tracking journey, I had a snack and met ladies for brunch that put me well over my points allowance for the day. Does anyone else do WW and eat your entire points before noon? Then the rest of the day is cucumbers, broccoli, and asparagus? Am I right? There are many zero point foods in this newer version of WW called Freestyle. So lean chicken, turkey, and seafood are zero as well as nonfat greek yogurt. BUT some things now have more points, so it all balances out right? It has for me, but on WW connect, I do see comments from some who maybe didn't take this transition as well and are struggling.
Do you ever look at your app and see exact points,but not in all the right places? then start adjusting categories so your day looks balanced? Example, I entered everything under breakfast and now my day looks top heavy. I'm not really OCD, but the first couple weeks I thought I should change the exact meals so I looked better on paper. Who is judging me? Anyone? I mean, is my leader going to say "you are doing it wrong, but good job tracking". NO! I am tracking and that is most important.
If you have never done WW, then some of this may sound foreign, ya it can sound like a foreign language, but not to those who live it and breathe it. I added my weight loss charms to my Navy bangle to celebrate and remind myself how strong I know I am.
MAY 1, 2018 -- I got my 5 lb charm today. Stoked that I hit 5 lbs in two weeks. Of course I did what any other rational WW person does and calculated how much weight I can lose by 2019 by multiplying my current loss by the amount of weeks left in the year because that is going to be perfectly accurate right? NO, but it was fun imagining the progress.
APRIL 24, 2018 -- My first week of WW tracking and obsessing went pretty well. It went way better than I could have expected. I will be honest, I was a tad leery of eating chicken and seafood and not "counting" it, but my first week proved a 3lb loss, so any numbers going down on the scale is a success as it has only gone up-up-up for the last years. After my hubby and I worked hard on the garden, we celebrated with a beer and when I calculated the points at 7, I thought, oh hell, this summer is going to suck cause I love my cold beverages by the pool I immediately started researching this dilemma. Oh chips and salsa, how I loved thee, I think we may have to see each other a lot less, or take teeny tiny bites. BUT we are talking about loss, not maintenance and in order to lose, less crap must pass through these lips.